Il cautam in fiecare barbat si nu il gaseam niciodata, era peste tot si nicaieri. Era in fiecare tip inalt si in fiecare masina alba, era in fiecare om interesant si in spatele fiecarei replici notabile. 

In final am aflat ca era de fapt intr-un tricou simplu, tocit si tenesi distrusi. Mergea ghebos si isi pierduse orice urma de masculinitate pe care o mai avea. Nu credeam ca il voi recunoaste mai repede de a constientiza. Apoi, a inceput sa vorbeasca:"pot mai mult de atat", ma uitam dupa el si ma gandeam cate se pot schimba intr-un an.

Apoi, a aparut el, aparent banal si simplu, fraier si incult. M-a invatat tot ce probabil ar fi trebuit sa iti inveti copiii intr-o viata. Imi spunea "orice te face fericita" si venea sa ma caute in toiul noptii cu taxiul. Era cel mai puternic caracter pe care l-am cunoscut vreodata si nu terminase nicio facultate. 

Chiar daca

 Imi spui ca faci orice sa ma vezi fericita, imi juri ca nu vrei pauze si iti dau lacrimile cand imi spui cat de frumoasa. Nopti nedormite cu rasarituri "ratate" impreuna, filme de doua ore, plimbari in parc si ochii tai in lumina lunii. Examene, recapitulare si capitulare. Eu, veri, tu, ai mei. Eu, drept, tu, excursii de vara. Pizza italiana si documentare la receptie. Telefoane de buna dimineata si mesaje de noapte buna. 

 Ti-as spune de pe acum cat de rau imi pare desi incerc sa ma schimb. 

It's not you, it's me. Maybe it's sounds lame and I know it does but tell me how can I explain that I'm not used to attention and I don't know what to when I receive affection. That I still think about him although I have everything I could ever dream of from a man. How can I tell you that I still think that it is just a joke? How can I tell you that I'm thinking of moving the next month when you already have plans for 3 years? How can I tell you that kissing in the rain made me think how broken I am and how I want to run away. How can I tell you that I hate flowers and that some movies make me cry? How can I tell you that I've missed you much but still made you feel awful when I saw you? How can I ever tell you that you deserve someone waay better who can't wait to go the cinema and do anything to make you smile?
How could I tell you in some years that you were the best thing that ever happened to me and that it was the worst decision of my life to leave? How could I tell you then that I wish you didn't let me go and that I want you back? They say it was just ambition, it wasn't, it's just that I don't think I'll be ever able to deal with someone who loves me and that I'll never stay. Maybe you'll already have someone who deserves you and I'll be dying a little inside thinking that following white cars was nothing in comparison with that feeling. How will I be able to tell you that UK will have more memories that the mountains could ever make? Maybe I'll still smoke but if I won't I hope you know why. Maybe coffee won't sound like such a good idea but it can be like a last favour. Your eyes in the rain and your voice while explaining, your surprise and my intolerance to "sweets". I'll eventually get to love rain while you'll get used to walking, maybe she won't be so eager at the beginning but she will do everything it takes to see you happy.
Skype will be just a memory and the sound of the typing machine for messages will always remind me of you. The the thrills I felt when you looked at me and the movies we'll ever watch. The cinema. The docks. Cars. Racing. Dogs. Policing. You!
I've loved you, I swear.

Mi-e dor sa iti spun ca mi-e dor de tine. Mi-e dor de apropo.uri inteligente si expresii familiare. Mi-e dor de melodii vechi si prieteni noi. Mi-e dor sa te astept sa vii si sa ma intrebi de ce plec. Mi-e dor de conversatii profunde intr-un bar ieftin.
Se spune ca frumusetea e trecatoare si ca oamenii imbatresc. Purtai ceas scump, camasa si pantaloni chic, erai la volan si vorbeai la telefon, ma intrebam ale cui sunt suvitele albe din parul tau, nu ti-as mai fi dat drumul din brate, aveam de gand sa iti spun ce dor mi-a fost si imi este inca  de simplitatea de alta data. Data viitoare alegi tu parcarea iar eu barul, sa stii ca uneori cafeaua face bine.

Si da, exista oameni mai interesanti decat el, chiar daca nu au "inaltimea" lui. Au maini perfecte, ochi stralucitori si arata grozav in camasa. Sunt mereu fericiti incat nu ma simt vinovata daca ii sun la 4 dimineata sa ii chem la plimbare. Ne stabilim intanlirile cu 3 luni inainte si luam cina impreuna in ultima seara. Cel mai important, m-au invatat ca exista oameni mai fascinanti decat el, cineva care sa caute prin oras masini albe in locul meu si sa ma cheme in acelasi bar in care te-am cunoscut pe tine.